My moods have been predetermined and prescribed. Seven tiny compartments measure my days. Pink and orange match the sunrise and taste bitter with my coffee. I chase them with water so they mellow in my blood, as if water can render toxic harmless. Yellow sticks in my throat every morning, and steals my happiness before … Continue reading My Days Are Numbered
It's finally here, the day has come when I see my GP about an ECT consult. The medication/psychiatric merry-go-round is killing me. I can't do this anymore. I haven't left my house in weeks, I haven't written for PC because let's be honest, I'm not doing so well with "Living well with mental illness" and … Continue reading Crazy is a Luxury
Remember when I said I was going to get the pharmacist to print out every single medication I have been prescribed since 2012? Well here it is and it is a whopping 26 pages long. There is shit on here that I had to Google, absolutely no fucking clue what it was, and no recollection … Continue reading Twenty-six Pages
Vibrant Ideas My mind is filled with an essence. Tales and characters ride on the cusp of almost tangible, and trust me when I tell you they are neither delusion nor hallucination, but that they are vivid and extraordinary. Thinking outside of the box makes perfect sense to me and logic seems almost crude, at … Continue reading Delusions or brilliance?
I am super stoked. My article was published on the amazing site Feminine Collective today. It's a personal account of how meds seriously fucked up my sex drive. I hope you check it out.
This is me after 5 days of sun, fun and Twisted Teas. Note the hooded eyes and swollen face. I just got home from five days at the lake with my family. A great time was had by all, for the most part. Not gonna lie, I drank a little too much. I didn't get … Continue reading Sun, Fun & Booze
If you haven't yet read, So There's This Pharmacist, I'd encourage you to do so right now, just so you know exactly what we're dealing with here. On the last post in The Carol Series I told you that med pickup time was on Wednesday. Scott was aware that he was to pick up my … Continue reading I’d Rather Smoke Weed Than Deal With Carol
Marisa Lancione is one of the fiercest women I know. She is a fervent feminist, a talented writer, and a Stigma Busting Heroine. I had the honour of being the Yin to Marisa's Yang, for a time when I worked with her as one of Stigma Fighters Canada's Content Managers, a position that she still … Continue reading Mental Health Warrior: Marisa Lancione
“I have found both freedom and safety in my madness; the freedom of loneliness and the safety from being understood, for those who understand us enslave something in us.” ― Kahlil Gibran, The Madman For the past four years, my psychiatrists (I’ve had a couple) have deemed it not only necessary, but absolutely crucial, that … Continue reading WARNING! Who’s In Charge of YOUR Stability?
I'm going up again. I blame the very limited sleep I'm getting, and the fact that I always go up this time of year. Always. Right now things are good though. I'm not agitated or angry like I was a couple of weeks ago. I've weaned off of the "emergency meds" that I had to … Continue reading Take The “Emergency Meds” Or Ride It Out?