Keep One In The Chamber

This poem was previously published on my column on Feminine Collective.


Darkness has fallen. The winds, they blow strange.
The devils we know have all changed their names.
They have coloured their faces, these heathens without shame,
all pointing corrupt fingers, all deflecting the blame.
They kill our time breathing upon life’s precious things,
taking pleasure from bullets tearing butterfly wings.
One for the kid just trying to get home,
clutching rainbows of death and his girl on the phone.
A few for the women, the mothers not to be,
slaughtered for their choices in the land of the free.
Five for the heroes who laid down their lives
when a blue line was crossed in Dallas that night.
Another forty-nine blazed through the night skies,
carrying the pulse of one love on terrified cries.
In San Bernardino there was holiday cheer,
and then fourteen funerals to ring in the New Year.
In the back of a car on the side of a road,
a little girl counts as a gun unloads.
Into her daddy the bullets are sprayed,
white ones and blue ones and both are afraid.
Her mama is crying and this is their fight,
cars without tail lights and bodies without white.
Gone are the days when we put kids to bed,
with nary a worry but a kiss on the head.
We used to teach fools to be wary of strangers,
but now we tell children to keep one in the chamber.

© Nicole Lyons 2017

Dear America

February 5, 2016 – 11:00 PST

I’m itchy, cranky, and my vision has started to fail.

FYI: If WebMD has told you that you’re living with syphilis get a second opinion ASAP, and GTFO WebMD anyway because it’s WebMD. You may just be experiencing a touch of Twitter overload instead, the symptoms are pretty much the same thing. But remember, I’m not a doctor.

Spending an entire day on Twitter is not for amateurs, you have to be Roosh V status and live in your Mom’s basement for that kind of dedication. It is work. Don’t get me wrong, I spend a lot of time on my Mac, like I’m sure most of you do (Goddess help us all) I write stuff for people. I run a pretty high traffic advocacy page that requires a lot of attention, and I sit on the board of a few non profits so I’m pretty glued to a screen. But today was the first day that I have actually done nothing but troll Twitter all day and I am  exhausted. Let’s take a moment and give credit where credit is due:

SHOUTOUT to all of the Basement Goblins’ Moms who actually pick up the laundry of their “pick up artist” sons while they parade around being Kings of Masculinity. I would lose my shit! Your job title says pick up artist so pick up your nasty ass gonch your damn self. Those Moms are bigger women than I am.

With day 1 of this little experiment finally having come to an end, I have to say while my level of commitment was intense, I really didn’t afford myself any wiggle room and that’s going to be a huge problem. I have a family and they’re not all self-sufficient, also I’m one of those women that love my family and prefer their company to the Trolls on Twitter. I know, it’s weird. I guess I’ll have to find a balance, because if I end up making another dinner like whatever it was I made tonight, we’ll all die hungry.

So what have I learned on this highly entertaining yet enlightening day of trolling Twitter? To put it in the simplest terms, because most of the people I have corresponded with today could not possibly be America’s finest (please don’t be America’s finest, else we’re all fucked) Ron White nailed it. You can’t fix stupid.

Today the trolling started with the whole Roosh V being outed as living at home in his Mom’s basement, which is funny as hell, but it kept a dialogue going about violence against women, women’s rights, and human fucking decency. Sadly it brought his disgusting followers out loud and proud like moths to a flame, and they are a shifty sort. No real pictures, some psychedelic profile photo with a big dick name, OR it’s them holding a big fucking gun or bow in front of a Nativity Scene. Now I know there are women hating racist homophobes everywhere, but America it was all you today that felt the need to send me pictures of dead holocaust victims because of my “big Jew nose” Not Jewish btw, just a big beautiful nose.

America, I am honestly frightened for you because while the majority of these white trash, Donal Trump supporting, women hating, racist hillbillies who were tweeting me the most vile shit are not even a little bit smart, some of these guys actually seem educated. Not this dude though. This dude thinks the Prime Minister of Canada is James Woods. No disrespect to Mr. Woods but I think he should stick to acting. Loved Shark.



I know hate is everywhere, but the level of hate that these dip-shit men spew is astounding. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a Canadian and have had the privilege to live in a Country where we accept others and celebrate diversity (well except for that whole time Harper was in but we’re trying to block that out), but I just don’t get you guys down there. I know we have some serious assholes up here but you are expert level fucked up in The USofA. I feel so bad for all of my lovely American friends and family who deal with this hate daily.

When I try to wrap my head around it I vomit a little in my mouth, and then I thank my lucky stars that I am raising strong bright Canadian girls in the most beautiful accepting Country in the world. I feel like I should stand for the Canadian National Anthem right now but instead:


Dear America,

You’re our closest neighbour and ally, although I hear some of you are pissed that we’re pulling our combat jets out of this whole mess and establishing more of a training role. Dude, we’re fierce when need be, but innately we’re peacekeepers, and I’m super proud of that. Hate on us all you want, but we’ll hit you with love almost every time. And, we’ll pick you up, because that’s the kind of people we are.

We dig you America and we just want to help you out. Stop the hate.

But, we are a bit concerned with this whole election process of yours, so we’re here to help. Consider us for President. In my 7.5 seconds as Commander In Chief I vow to legalize Kinder Eggs. You can’t be angry and mass shooty when you have Kinder Eggs, look at our record, coincidence? I leave that to you to decide.

In conclusion, America I’d like you to think about a few things:

  1. Women are equal, there is no argument there.
  2. Rape is never okay.
  3. Gun control is a good thing, no one is trying to take your guns away, just be responsible.
  4. A hate spewing politician is cause for concern.
  5. Muslims are not bad people. For the love of everything stop lumping all Muslims in with radical extremist groups like ISIS.
  6. Global warming is a real thing.
  7. Violence is never the answer, even when admittedly it may feel good to slap someone red.
  8. A woman’s body is hers and only hers. Stop telling her what she can and can not do with her reproductive rights.
  9. Corporations and mass consumption are the real devil.
  10. Try getting by with a little bit of love, you know that “hopey changey” stuff. It’s good for your soul

Warm regards,






I See You Humanity

Photo Credit Jean Jullien
Photo Credit Jean Jullien

I see you humanity, crawling out from under the rubble, holding your neighbour’s hand, lifting up the closest stranger and offering a shoulder for solace.

I see you humanity, in all of your glory though you may be beaten and tired, scared and feeling defeated; I see you rise again; refusing to let the enemy win.

Across this vast world that we share, horrors and atrocities are carried out systematically, coordinated with calculated terror; devised to separate and conquer us all, and sadly, the enemy is winning, not with their destruction and mutilation, their bombs and their grenades, for we fight those. We grieve our loved ones, and we honour our victims of senseless violence.

How do they beat us? They beat us by outwitting us. The beat us by turning our own on each other, “We do not negotiate with terrorists.” Instead our society has deemed it safe and necessary to paint a single faith with one brush, and I am disgusted.

In an age of enlightenment, ignorance is no longer an acceptable excuse. You scream, “How dare you let these refugees into our Country!” but what if we were bombed, thrown from our homes? Your children raped and tortured before your very eyes, and taken away to be trafficked to a horrific group where their only purpose was to violate and destroy? Baby legs splayed open for every beast to take his turn at your precious baby? Mutilate and desecrate her very soul as her tiny body shuddered in pain, screaming for her Daddy to save her as you were helpless to take her suffering away? What would you do? You would run for freedom.

Wouldn’t you wish a Country that was Free would open its borders for you and your little child, offering solace, comfort and hope? A Free Country where a new beginning for her to start fresh was a real possibility? She could leave the pain and suffering of a war she had never asked to be born into in hopes that she could live a full and healthy life, and begin a chain of love and hope and freedom.

I ask you, how in good faith can you condemn a child who has never had the chance to choose her life? You, my friend, have been privileged to be born in a Free Country, it was nothing but luck that this happened to be where you were born, and it would do you good to remember your blessings the next time you paint all faiths under one brush.

After all of the atrocities, I see you humanity. I see you in the love that is being posted. I see you in the refusal to adhere to the racist bigoted comments that are vomited all over social media. I see you humanity and I have hope. I see you in the faces of my children who choose love because love is louder and love always wins.

I see you humanity, in the way society will not back down to extremists or bigots or racists and I celebrate you.

The bombs and screams and destruction were deafening, but the collective voice of, “you will not bring us to our knees!” is that much louder. Love always wins; it may just take a little while longer.

I see you humanity, and I will never give up on you. You give me strength and courage and the will to keep on going when I feel my faith is gone. You are a beautiful world, and I am proud to be part of you. I am proud to raise my children in such a place where people love one another and accept one another, and those who do not, do not deserve our time, only our love and our light, and our hope that one day they will see the light.

Hate is not born, it is learned. Whether you go into a building with a grenade and destroy lives, or choose to paint a faith based on false beliefs, you are one in the same, maybe not quite on the same level, but you are teaching hate. Try to open your open mind. Love wont kill you, it will only make you grow. The only way to change the world is by one random act of kindness at a time.

Neither faith nor religion is the enemy; an extremist group is, as is your hate and ignorance. You are teaching this to your children, are you any better? Because you haven’t murdered someone, you are still teaching others to hate, ask yourself, is it helping or hurting?