I have God in my words and the devil in my ear, and a sister, who keeps telling me to find my magic. © Nicole Lyons 2017
Did you all remember to spring ahead? Flashback to why I hate daylight savings
In the world of bipolar disorder, being stable for months can be a pretty awesome feat. My meds had been at the lowest dose possible–yay me! I was seeing my psychiatrist regularly, which is both infuriating and insightful, and practicing mindfulness daily. It sounds a lot easier than it really is. As a result, I was happily in the zone. Then boom, it hit. Daylight Savings Time. Why in the hell is this even still a thing? Haven’t there been like a zillion studies done that shows how this is more harmful than helpful? It was created for an agrarian society. We’re not farmers anymore!
Deciding on a proactive approach, rather than batcaving in my bedroom and curling into the fetal position like I wanted to do, I went to my psychiatrist. “Here, try this light box,” she said. It’s about the size of a CD case, but much thicker…
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You think you know me? You don't. You think I'm the same woman from a few years back? Not even close. You think I'm still quiet, subservient, timid and fragile? Afraid Not. You think I'm just going to let you do and say what you want to me? Think again... I can [...]
Last month Stephanie Bennett-Henry and I wrote something together that touches on Stigma. I was reluctant to post it for (get this) fear of offending people. How ridiculous is that? Pretty ridiculous considering the disgusting comments and jokes that people are making today, in regard to Sinead O'Connor. I swear to God, some of you need [...]
Until you've tethered your madness to someone else's sanity in order to keep breathing, you don't know vulnerability.
You'll have to excuse me for joining the party late, all of the big words and testosterone coming down that Internet thingy had me a little bit confused and frightened. I felt anxious and overly emotional, almost the exact same way I feel right before I'm about to start my period. So I took a [...]
It's finally here, the day has come when I see my GP about an ECT consult. The medication/psychiatric merry-go-round is killing me. I can't do this anymore. I haven't left my house in weeks, I haven't written for PC because let's be honest, I'm not doing so well with "Living well with mental illness" and [...]
Remember when I said I was going to get the pharmacist to print out every single medication I have been prescribed since 2012? Well here it is and it is a whopping 26 pages long. There is shit on here that I had to Google, absolutely no fucking clue what it was, and no recollection [...]
I asked for this medication change. I needed this medication change, but that doesn't make the initial effects of this medication change any easier to deal with. Yesterday was particularly brutal for me. How is it possible for one's head to simultaneously feel so bloody heavy that it's weighing your entire body down yet at [...]
I have been feeling like shit for quite some time and here is where I'm at: I think it was around 4 months ago now the last time I waltzed my ass out of my psychiatrist's office after she prescribed me tegretol and looked me dead in the eye and stated, "I'm going to refer you [...]