My moods have been predetermined and prescribed. Seven tiny compartments measure my days. Pink and orange match the sunrise and taste bitter with my coffee. I chase them with water so they mellow in my blood, as if water can render toxic harmless. Yellow sticks in my throat every morning, and steals my happiness before … Continue reading My Days Are Numbered
It's finally here, the day has come when I see my GP about an ECT consult. The medication/psychiatric merry-go-round is killing me. I can't do this anymore. I haven't left my house in weeks, I haven't written for PC because let's be honest, I'm not doing so well with "Living well with mental illness" and … Continue reading Crazy is a Luxury
Remember when I said I was going to get the pharmacist to print out every single medication I have been prescribed since 2012? Well here it is and it is a whopping 26 pages long. There is shit on here that I had to Google, absolutely no fucking clue what it was, and no recollection … Continue reading Twenty-six Pages
I asked for this medication change. I needed this medication change, but that doesn't make the initial effects of this medication change any easier to deal with. Yesterday was particularly brutal for me. How is it possible for one's head to simultaneously feel so bloody heavy that it's weighing your entire body down yet at … Continue reading My Brain is on Fire
Vibrant Ideas My mind is filled with an essence. Tales and characters ride on the cusp of almost tangible, and trust me when I tell you they are neither delusion nor hallucination, but that they are vivid and extraordinary. Thinking outside of the box makes perfect sense to me and logic seems almost crude, at … Continue reading Delusions or brilliance?