Freakshow

I had always wanted to be the center of attention until I was shackled into the main attraction of her sideshow. A three-ring circus and her freak show, fisting gaping chests and shredding hearts. I stepped right up and felt the twisting of my head, I heard the cracking of my skull, and I was … Continue reading Freakshow

A Bipolar Nemesis: Daylight Savings Time

Did you all remember to spring ahead? Flashback to why I hate daylight savings

Nicole Lyons

lightbox

In the world of bipolar disorder, being stable for months can be a pretty awesome feat. My meds had been at the lowest dose possible–yay me! I was seeing my psychiatrist regularly, which is both infuriating and insightful, and practicing mindfulness daily. It sounds a lot easier than it really is. As a result, I was happily in the zone. Then boom, it hit. Daylight Savings Time. Why in the hell is this even still a thing? Haven’t there been like a zillion studies done that shows how this is more harmful than helpful? It was created for an agrarian society. We’re not farmers anymore!

Deciding on a proactive approach, rather than batcaving in my bedroom and curling into the fetal position like I wanted to do, I went to my psychiatrist. “Here, try this light box,” she said. It’s about the size of a CD case, but much thicker…

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Oblivion – Nicole on FC

Thank you to Feminine Collective for publishing Oblivion. It was written for a Creative Nonfiction challenge and it had to come in at under 1500 words, and it was by far one of my hardest writes to date, but I am extremely pleased with the end result. oblivion

Crazy is a Luxury

It's finally here, the day has come when I see my GP about an ECT consult. The medication/psychiatric merry-go-round is killing me. I can't do this anymore. I haven't left my house in weeks, I haven't written for PC because let's be honest, I'm not doing so well with "Living well with mental illness" and … Continue reading Crazy is a Luxury

Twenty-six Pages

  Remember when I said I was going to get the pharmacist to print out every single medication I have been prescribed since 2012? Well here it is and it is a whopping 26 pages long. There is shit on here that I had to Google, absolutely no fucking clue what it was, and no recollection … Continue reading Twenty-six Pages

Happy Christmas Eve Indeed

I saw Dr. H yesterday. Dr. H is my GP, he's wonderful. He has been my doctor for years, delivered my children and was the one who has referred me to my psychiatrist(s). Dr. H always listens and does not put up with any bullshit from me whatsoever. Did I mention he listens? We sat … Continue reading Happy Christmas Eve Indeed

This Non Compliant Needs A Med Change

I have been feeling like shit for quite some time and here is where I'm at: I think it was around 4 months ago now the last time I waltzed my ass out of my psychiatrist's office after she prescribed me tegretol and looked me dead in the eye and stated, "I'm going to refer you … Continue reading This Non Compliant Needs A Med Change

Delusions or brilliance?

Vibrant Ideas My mind is filled with an essence. Tales and characters ride on the cusp of almost tangible, and trust me when I tell you they are neither delusion nor hallucination, but that they are vivid and extraordinary. Thinking outside of the box makes perfect sense to me and logic seems almost crude, at … Continue reading Delusions or brilliance?

I’d Rather Smoke Weed Than Deal With Carol

If you haven't yet read, So There's This Pharmacist, I'd encourage you to do so right now, just so you know exactly what we're dealing with here. On the last post in The Carol Series I told you that med pickup time was on Wednesday. Scott was aware that he was to pick up my … Continue reading I’d Rather Smoke Weed Than Deal With Carol

Peep-Make-Believe at The Psychiatrist

So I went to see my psychiatrist yesterday — finally. We've been doing the unavailable dance for over a month now. She's been rescheduling and I've been avoiding. I'm almost certain rescheduling is a professional's tool used as an avoidance technique though. I'm bringing that up during our next session. I was in the zone on … Continue reading Peep-Make-Believe at The Psychiatrist