I drink and I scream and I curse the stars, and still you are here, blaring in my fucking veins. Nicole Lyons 2017
Tonight I will unpack my worries, tuck them gingerly beneath my pillow and lay my head upon them so that they may feel safe. When I close my eyes against the violence of racing thoughts behind them, perhaps it shall see the red streaking the white of them and know I have surrendered on this [...]
Don’t tell me that there is no such thing as hell when your shoes are filled with heaven, you have seen me struggle with the weight of it. Come and sit a spell and let me drop hell for you to look into and we will see how quickly heaven moves you then. ©Nicole Lyons [...]
There is a beast in me who quakes to be worshipped. Its deep rumbling cracks the temple of me and I wait to crumble beneath it. © Nicole Lyons 2017
Did you all remember to spring ahead? Flashback to why I hate daylight savings
In the world of bipolar disorder, being stable for months can be a pretty awesome feat. My meds had been at the lowest dose possible–yay me! I was seeing my psychiatrist regularly, which is both infuriating and insightful, and practicing mindfulness daily. It sounds a lot easier than it really is. As a result, I was happily in the zone. Then boom, it hit. Daylight Savings Time. Why in the hell is this even still a thing? Haven’t there been like a zillion studies done that shows how this is more harmful than helpful? It was created for an agrarian society. We’re not farmers anymore!
Deciding on a proactive approach, rather than batcaving in my bedroom and curling into the fetal position like I wanted to do, I went to my psychiatrist. “Here, try this light box,” she said. It’s about the size of a CD case, but much thicker…
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