Keep One In The Chamber

This poem was previously published on my column on Feminine Collective.

KO

Darkness has fallen. The winds, they blow strange.
The devils we know have all changed their names.
They have coloured their faces, these heathens without shame,
all pointing corrupt fingers, all deflecting the blame.
They kill our time breathing upon life’s precious things,
taking pleasure from bullets tearing butterfly wings.
One for the kid just trying to get home,
clutching rainbows of death and his girl on the phone.
A few for the women, the mothers not to be,
slaughtered for their choices in the land of the free.
Five for the heroes who laid down their lives
when a blue line was crossed in Dallas that night.
Another forty-nine blazed through the night skies,
carrying the pulse of one love on terrified cries.
In San Bernardino there was holiday cheer,
and then fourteen funerals to ring in the New Year.
In the back of a car on the side of a road,
a little girl counts as a gun unloads.
Into her daddy the bullets are sprayed,
white ones and blue ones and both are afraid.
Her mama is crying and this is their fight,
cars without tail lights and bodies without white.
Gone are the days when we put kids to bed,
with nary a worry but a kiss on the head.
We used to teach fools to be wary of strangers,
but now we tell children to keep one in the chamber.

© Nicole Lyons 2017

Choose

You can fan the flames with hate
or stoke the fire with love,
either way, it’s going to burn.

Winds of Change

 

peace

 

 

I have nurtured

the seeds

of resistance

planted in my bones

long ago.

Roots grown

swift and mighty,

a solid foundation

of iron

stands me firm

and holds me true.

Vines

of resilience

climb the length

of my spine-straight.

Blooming

down arms

of hope and

hands of peace,

raised in wait,

to embrace

a revolution.

Change

rides the back

of howling winds,

and if seeds

of hatred

are all you have

sowed,

the tempest will

eat you alive.

 

wind

The Ugliest War of You 

Absolutely amazing. This is exceptional.

 

I live in a place where people say “faggot”  as causal as one would say, “hello.” A passing respectful nod from a stranger  is common, although just under his brea…

Source: The Ugliest War of You 

Crazy, Cancer & Chuckles

Last month Stephanie Bennett-Henry and I wrote something together that touches on Stigma. I was reluctant to post it for (get this) fear of offending people. How ridiculous is that? Pretty ridiculous considering the disgusting comments and jokes that people are making today, in regard to Sinead O’Connor.

I swear to God, some of you need to pass a test before using the Internet.

It’s May, which means it’s Mental Health Awareness month, and I tell you world, you fucking need it.

How funny would it be if I laughed as your daughter lay dying from cancer? What about your mother as she pukes up any strength she has left after dialysis? Maybe we could make a video that pokes fun at everyone who struggles to breathe in the middle of an asthma attack, bet we’d have a viral sensation on our hands there.

Your ignorance is showing, cover that shit up.

Stigma.

 

S&N illness

Rights, Wrongs and The Sanctity of Life

It started with a simple tweet where I expressed my opinion in regard to the hundreds that I saw where people were screaming, “more guns”, “shoot back”, “arm the country”; and it turned into the pistol packers calling me everything from “vapid” to a baby killer. Wait, what? A baby killer? Apparently it’s completely okay to shout loud and proud all about gun rights but calling for gun control makes you “just as bad as the killer.”

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Look, I’m not talking about banning guns, FFS, but let’s do some math here. Now you’re going to need to give me a minute, math has never been my best subject.

 

2015 Gun deaths in America – a fucking lot.

 

2015 Gun deaths in Canada – too many, but not even on the radar compared to America.

 

Why such a difference? Because Canada has some gun control, granted it’s not the best gun control but it’s there. For instance I couldn’t purchase a gun. Why not you ask? Because I have a diagnosed mental illness, it’s called bipolar disorder. While I’m 100% sure I’m not going to take a gun and go on a shooting rampage, my government is going to double down and make damn sure I wont, and I’m good with that.

 

Guns are a necessity in this world and I wouldn’t dream of taking them away from responsible owners. My family are hunters and my father proudly displays his trophies from the skeet shooting tournaments that he’s won. Where does he keep his guns? Locked the fuck away where no one can see them or access them.

 

Safety first.

 

Now the most amusing hate that I received from that single tweet was from the people that popped up to randomly ask me if I believed in a woman’s RIGHT to choose. If you must know, of course I do. That’s when I was called a baby killer.

 

How come every time one of these shootings occur the people screaming about their rights to guns also scream that a woman has no rights over her own body? I’m not trying to take your rights away, why are you insisting on taking mine?

 

Closed minds open mouths.

Warm regards,

Nicole

 

 

Here’s a word from my friend Sarah Fader, one of the women whose rights you would choose to take away. Take it away, Sarah:

 

In 2002 I had an abortion. Thankfully I was able to have it in the safety of a doctor’s office. I have many friends who have had abortions at Planned Parenthood or other clinics – and that is their right.  When a woman walks into a clinic she has the right to safety.

 

Here’s a scenario- a woman is walking into a medical clinic, gets shot and dies. I just want to know – how does the right to bear arms trump the sanctity of this woman’s life? The pro-life activists would argue that she was a “baby killer” and she deserved to die. They fail to see the hypocrisy in that statement.

 

  1. Having an abortion is not killing a baby. It is terminating a collection of cells.
  2. It’s never morally okay to kill an innocent person, such as a woman walking into a medical clinic for a routine procedure.

 

You heard me right – abortion is a routine procedure and women have a right to do what they want with their own bodies.

 

If a woman wants to have an abortion she doesn’t have to explain her reasoning to you.

 

Human life is sacred and the way to preserve it is to start placing firmer regulations on gun control in America. Stop selling guns at Walmart and start doing background checks on people who wish to buy firearms. Do they have a violent criminal history? Well, then don’t sell them a gun.

 

Change starts now.

 

Sandy Hook, Columbine, Kalamazoo, San Bernardino, Planned Parenthood…should I go on?

 

How many children have to die before we regulate guns?

 

Peace.

 

sarahmidtripin

Sarah Fader is the flavor vanilla with something unusual in it – like gummy bears, because she’s sometimes extroverted and wants everybody to like her, but some folks are like “wait a minute, this vanilla ice cream has gummy bears in it?! That’s weird. I don’t know about that…” Other people love that this particular ice cream has gummy bears in it, because it makes it more interesting and special. She blogs for The Huffington Post and writes a column called Panic Life for Psychology Today. She has been seen in the media in The Wall Street Journal, HuffPost Live, Good Day New York and Fox News. Sarah is the Founder and CEO of the mental health non-profit Stigma Fighters  Follow her on Twitter

Dear America

February 5, 2016 – 11:00 PST

I’m itchy, cranky, and my vision has started to fail.

FYI: If WebMD has told you that you’re living with syphilis get a second opinion ASAP, and GTFO WebMD anyway because it’s WebMD. You may just be experiencing a touch of Twitter overload instead, the symptoms are pretty much the same thing. But remember, I’m not a doctor.

Spending an entire day on Twitter is not for amateurs, you have to be Roosh V status and live in your Mom’s basement for that kind of dedication. It is work. Don’t get me wrong, I spend a lot of time on my Mac, like I’m sure most of you do (Goddess help us all) I write stuff for people. I run a pretty high traffic advocacy page that requires a lot of attention, and I sit on the board of a few non profits so I’m pretty glued to a screen. But today was the first day that I have actually done nothing but troll Twitter all day and I am  exhausted. Let’s take a moment and give credit where credit is due:

SHOUTOUT to all of the Basement Goblins’ Moms who actually pick up the laundry of their “pick up artist” sons while they parade around being Kings of Masculinity. I would lose my shit! Your job title says pick up artist so pick up your nasty ass gonch your damn self. Those Moms are bigger women than I am.

With day 1 of this little experiment finally having come to an end, I have to say while my level of commitment was intense, I really didn’t afford myself any wiggle room and that’s going to be a huge problem. I have a family and they’re not all self-sufficient, also I’m one of those women that love my family and prefer their company to the Trolls on Twitter. I know, it’s weird. I guess I’ll have to find a balance, because if I end up making another dinner like whatever it was I made tonight, we’ll all die hungry.

So what have I learned on this highly entertaining yet enlightening day of trolling Twitter? To put it in the simplest terms, because most of the people I have corresponded with today could not possibly be America’s finest (please don’t be America’s finest, else we’re all fucked) Ron White nailed it. You can’t fix stupid.

Today the trolling started with the whole Roosh V being outed as living at home in his Mom’s basement, which is funny as hell, but it kept a dialogue going about violence against women, women’s rights, and human fucking decency. Sadly it brought his disgusting followers out loud and proud like moths to a flame, and they are a shifty sort. No real pictures, some psychedelic profile photo with a big dick name, OR it’s them holding a big fucking gun or bow in front of a Nativity Scene. Now I know there are women hating racist homophobes everywhere, but America it was all you today that felt the need to send me pictures of dead holocaust victims because of my “big Jew nose” Not Jewish btw, just a big beautiful nose.

America, I am honestly frightened for you because while the majority of these white trash, Donal Trump supporting, women hating, racist hillbillies who were tweeting me the most vile shit are not even a little bit smart, some of these guys actually seem educated. Not this dude though. This dude thinks the Prime Minister of Canada is James Woods. No disrespect to Mr. Woods but I think he should stick to acting. Loved Shark.

FullSizeRender-5

 

I know hate is everywhere, but the level of hate that these dip-shit men spew is astounding. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a Canadian and have had the privilege to live in a Country where we accept others and celebrate diversity (well except for that whole time Harper was in but we’re trying to block that out), but I just don’t get you guys down there. I know we have some serious assholes up here but you are expert level fucked up in The USofA. I feel so bad for all of my lovely American friends and family who deal with this hate daily.

When I try to wrap my head around it I vomit a little in my mouth, and then I thank my lucky stars that I am raising strong bright Canadian girls in the most beautiful accepting Country in the world. I feel like I should stand for the Canadian National Anthem right now but instead:

 

Dear America,

You’re our closest neighbour and ally, although I hear some of you are pissed that we’re pulling our combat jets out of this whole mess and establishing more of a training role. Dude, we’re fierce when need be, but innately we’re peacekeepers, and I’m super proud of that. Hate on us all you want, but we’ll hit you with love almost every time. And, we’ll pick you up, because that’s the kind of people we are.

We dig you America and we just want to help you out. Stop the hate.

But, we are a bit concerned with this whole election process of yours, so we’re here to help. Consider us for President. In my 7.5 seconds as Commander In Chief I vow to legalize Kinder Eggs. You can’t be angry and mass shooty when you have Kinder Eggs, look at our record, coincidence? I leave that to you to decide.

In conclusion, America I’d like you to think about a few things:

  1. Women are equal, there is no argument there.
  2. Rape is never okay.
  3. Gun control is a good thing, no one is trying to take your guns away, just be responsible.
  4. A hate spewing politician is cause for concern.
  5. Muslims are not bad people. For the love of everything stop lumping all Muslims in with radical extremist groups like ISIS.
  6. Global warming is a real thing.
  7. Violence is never the answer, even when admittedly it may feel good to slap someone red.
  8. A woman’s body is hers and only hers. Stop telling her what she can and can not do with her reproductive rights.
  9. Corporations and mass consumption are the real devil.
  10. Try getting by with a little bit of love, you know that “hopey changey” stuff. It’s good for your soul

Warm regards,

Nicole

 

 

 

 

Fuck you, Jian

So.Much.This.

Bone Broth and Breastmilk

It’s Day 3 of the Jian Ghomeshi trial, the first witness has been discredited already and we’ve now moved right along on to number 2.

During the time the story broke that he was being fired from the CBC as sexual assault accusations came to light, every woman I spoke to about it was deeply disturbed. Deeply disturbed. Every woman. No matter her age, level of Q fandom, political leanings and/or lifestyle, this story, of all news stories, had knocked the wind out of her. She couldn’t get it out of her head. Couldn’t stop thinking. Things were coming back to her. Feelings, and questions, about interactions she’d buried in the subterranean sludge of her mind for years. Interactions that were flooding her now. She couldn’t breathe.

I’ve been degraded, I’ve been humiliated, I’ve been coerced, I’ve been pressured, I’ve been guilt-tripped, I’ve been taken advantage of, I’ve had my humanity…

View original post 445 more words

Roofie Rooshy Makes Bank: Update

You’ll have to excuse me for joining the party late, all of the big words and testosterone coming down that Internet thingy had me a little bit confused and frightened. I felt anxious and overly emotional, almost the exact same way I feel right before I’m about to start my period. So I took a few days to cry, eat a few gallons of ice cream, embrace my inner beauty, and make ridiculous demands on the men in my life, because let’s get real here, a distraught woman simply can not function unless a man takes over.

Holy shiiiiit.

Roosh V. Where do I even start?

Obviously it goes without saying (still going to say it) that this puppy is twisted but could he be a bit of a sociopathic genius as well? Hold on now, I’ll get to the could be part soon, and it has nothing to do with his despicable pro-rape, homophobic, misogynistic beliefs that he spews. I hold no illusions that the man isn’t the vilest form of sleaze to exhale, like ever.

A little backstory, just incase your brain boxes are running on the what in the actual fuck kind of deranged person would nominate Trump for a Nobel Peace Prize loop:

So Roofie Rooshy had planned to hold a bunch of international meet ups for his Internet sensation boyband, ‘The Rapey Gang Bangers’, (I jest, they named themselves Return of Kings, because what else would possible closeted homosexual misogynists name themselves? Queens?) and the world went wild. Not unlike every other time The Sultan of Slime has tried to go somewhere and speak for money to groups of sad little men. Rooshypoops wants to hold these “tribal meetings” for his Kings to, “allow masculine men to regularly bond and converse with each other.” I wonder if Albert Fish could have made as much money as this lackluster Lothario pulls in if he had access to a WordPress account in the 1890s. IRS, are you on this case? Anywho, we all agree that the dude is ew, but come on now, he’s laughing all the way to the fucking bank while his followers are buying a ride on the tail of the next Hale-Bopp.

 

Dear Kings,

I know you think you hate women and you wouldn’t take my advice, so I asked my husband to talk to you. I’m typing this though because he’s one of those strong trade men that you so admire (also a pilot and a biker) and doesn’t type well, in other words we’ll be here all fucking day before I can even submit to publish. Meet…
Just kidding, like I’d let my husband speak, what kind of a woman do you think I am?

But seriously now, are you actually paying money to get advice on women from a guy who has written and published this in his book Bang Iceland:

“While walking to my place, I realized how drunk she was. In America, having sex with her would have been rape, since she couldn’t legally give her consent. It didn’t help matters that I was relatively sober, but I can’t say I cared or even hesitated.

I won’t rationalize my actions, but having sex is what I do. If a girl is willing to walk home with me, she’s going to get the dick no matter how much she has drunk. I’ll protect myself by using a condom (most of the time), but I know that when it comes to sex, one ounce of hesitation or a feeling of morality will get me nothing.”

And then trying to tell the world that you’re all not pro-rape? Can you see how we’re all confused and even justified in our disgust? But again, you’re PAYING your hard earned money to this what..expert? For what.. relationship advice? Because if you need this freak’s help to get laid, you have more problems than just hand over fisting your money, Buddy. You would do well to invest that money in some psychological help – find out what it is in you that makes you think it’s okay to treat women this way. Maybe your Mom didn’t hold you enough, maybe your Dad called you a Pussy, maybe you’re really gay and can’t accept that? You should already know this but, it’s totally okay if you’re gay, learn to love your whole self. I don’t know what your inner turmoil is, I’m not a fucking doctor, but I do know that if this Roosh guy is your brah, you’ve got some serious issues.

Don’t give me that bullshit about brotherhood either, my family comes from a very long line of bikers and those men are the epitome of brotherhood. They wouldn’t dream of treating women the way you do, and I’m pretty sure they do alright.

Now if you’re going to hit me with the free speech I can get behind that. Free speech gives me the ability to say that I think most Republican Evangelicals are racist homophobes and would run America into the ground, but that still doesn’t make being rapey okay. Free speech and freedom of press has allowed Mein Kampf and Bang Iceland to be published, doesn’t make them any good. Free speech also allows every single one of The Great White North’s fine mayors to tell The Chlamydia Cult you’re not fucking welcome here. They’re actually doing you a service though, I hear Kayla Bourque has applied to have her curfew lifted.

The Kayla Bourques of this world are the least of your concerns, boys. We’ve got humanity and simple fucking decency on our side, but even when the underbelly of society slithers it’s disgusting sexual frustrations up out into the open, like you have done, strong women and men kick it back down. We are raising a bright and powerful generation of young women and men that will not feel the need to blog this shit out like I do, you’re going to become irrelevant just like you were in high school when you first couldn’t get laid. There is hope for you yet, there is always hope.

As a Canadian I have no qualms about writing a very strongly worded letter to my Member of Parliament to implement further action to cease all Return of Kings meet ups in our fine country.

Totally kidding again, we’ll meet you at the party and I’ll be sure to invite all of my biker friends to come too, we offer advice free of charge.

Warm regards,

Nicole

 

UPDATE:

In a Daily Mail Exclusive that had basement goblins across the globe taking to social media to vehemently oppose being categorized with Roosh The Douche we got to see what a self-procalaimed “King of Masculinity” looks like:

After Roosh V called 911 yesterday to report death threats he’s received, Maryland police responded to his home, or rather his Mother’s home, where Roosh V the 36 year old grown ass and self proclaimed “masculine man” lives…in her basement. Oh sweet friends, The Universe really does have a wicked sense of fucking humor.

MindTrip CROSSFIRE Humanity Edition: Mental Illness, Massacres & Misinformation

Welcome to MindTrip Crossfire

A section where I take one topic and hit it from two different bipolar perspectives. This is the place where we encourage you to join in on the conversation, share your experience, and let us know where YOU stand.

The MindTrip CROSSFIRE: Humanity Edition is taking a look at the recent UCC massacre. Your contributors are Nicole Lyons and Jacqueline Cioffa.

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I Cry The Same Tears Over and Over Again Until Something Changes

By Nicole

Every 40 seconds someone in this world dies by suicide. In the time it will take you to finish reading this blog, roughly 8 people will have taken their own lives, and 90% of those people will have been living with a mental illness. Chances are high that the only pain they have caused others has just been the excruciating soul crushing loss they have left their loved ones with by their devastating departure from this world.

It’s happened again. Another massacre, another mass shooting, another “crazy” person has killed a bunch of innocent people and the world has once again gone looking for blood. I too have shed tears over this tragedy and the countless others, and the ones that are sure to follow this one and the next, and still the next and the ones after those. And I will continue to cry for those victims of those preventable tragedies until our collective citizens stand up and demand change, instead of spilling more blood.

I will continue to my guttural wail of rage until you all command that treatment be a requirement for lost and broken brains. When you all finally take a pledge to stand as one in solidarity and understand that health is more important than your guns.

I promise you that change will come, and come swiftly.

You tell me that your guns are your right, but God Damn You, MY HEALTH is my right. You want to lay blame on the feet of a mother whose child was born sick, pick one, there are many. I will lay blame at the feet of a government who refuses to care for their sick, their weak, and their hurt.

My heart bleeds for the victims of each massacre, but making it this much easier for the mentally ill to hurt others, as we know is a very real possibility, is preposterous to me. If you want to enact change, use your voice for those of us that need it. Gun Control Laws, it’s called an amendment because you can amend it.

I have been to the edge and back, and while I know for a fact that I I would never harm anyone but myself, there are others not like me. They are still good people, beautiful people, people I love, and before you hate on me for my thoughts and views, maybe you should read something from someone who I love very much who isn’t quite as certain.

NicoleforHasty

Humanity

By Jacqueline

We are a sick society. Before you hurl stones, rocks and bullets at my beliefs, or me please don’t. I never asked to be put in a 2 x 2 narrow minded, cement block box filled with blame and shame, yet here I am. One of the crazies. On the outside I appear pretty, well mannered, kind and a little bit eccentric. The three-pound brain matter floating inside my skull and faulty DNA tells me otherwise. The darkness and the violent genetic history, the ever-present reminder the cracks and fissures could explode. The grandfather who threw boiling water at his wife ending up in Willard, a violent act, the relative who committed murder and suicide, a violent act, the gorgeous, brilliant cousin who I adored’s death by suicide, another violent act.

Do I blame them, absolutely not. Do I understand the out of your mind depths of a psychotic break, yes. I have been out of mind, spinning out of control, consumed by the crazy. Who’s to say the phone I hurled at my mother in a moment of paranoia, fear and rage could not have been a loaded gun. I cannot honestly say with one hundred percent certainty that I would not pull the trigger. In that one instant I am not a thinking, rational human being with a healthy brain. I can’t in good conscience be responsible for brain matters I do not understand, that Science does not understand and when crazy is shrugged off as the inconvenience.

All people have a propensity towards violence, throw in Mental Illness and it’s a recipe for disaster. Now, do not misinterpret or misconstrue what I am saying. There are millions of upstanding citizens living with mental illness and thriving with not one hint of violence in their beings. Me, I am blessed with an army of support, a goddamn brigade of humans who circle around me, creating a bubble of protection when I am unwell. Which, in truth is every single day. I am broken, cracked and seriously fragmented. What I am not is delusional, in denial or unaware.

I do not blame myself. I will not blame myself. I will blame the mental illness that has wreaked havoc on my life, and the ones I love dearly. You see, I would kill for them. And, that scares the hell out of me. I have written the blame and shame game in I AM ADAM LANZA, I have shared the ugliest, darkest, scariest pieces of my insanity in SEVEN SHADES OF SICK.

Who is to blame for the massacres, the sick individuals who walk into a school or movie theatre with mass arsenals readily available?

I blame every single one of you. And myself. I blame the lackadaisical therapists who missed something, the arrogant pyschiatrists who check the clock unwilling to study, delve deeper, question everything they know about mental illness throw it out the window and start fresh. I blame the media whores who shove the pictures of dead children and gruesome images of grieving parents without following up. I blame the fractured, broken mental health system where prisons have become modern mental institutions. I blame the government, politics, the NRA, greed, power, and money-grubbing mongrels for shoving the news down our throats with no concrete answers. I blame the parent who buys their child a laptop, or a Smartphone because they’re too busy to go outside and throw a ball around, to communicate and ask simply, how was your day?

I blame anyone and everyone who is in denial about the violent, sick, twisted world we live in.

I blame Social Media for creating an easily, accessible outlet glorifying the senseless massacres. I don’t blame the lonely, isolated, unwell human beings with no support system. They are very real, and they exist in our world. They are humans desperately trying to fit in. Their sick, twisted minds don’t need the apathy of a deluded society.

I blame anyone and everyone who thinks their child would or could never commit such a heinous act. Guess what, I am somebody’s child.

And I’m telling you not to look the other way. Violent acts happen every single day.

I do not need or want a gun in my home.

Who do I blame the most? I blame humanity.

jackie

Jacqueline Cioffa was an international model for 17 years and celebrity makeup artist. She is a dog lover, crystal collector and Stone Crab enthusiast. Her work has been featured in “Brainstorms, the Anthology” and numerous literary magazines. Living with manic depression, Jacqueline is an advocate for mental health awareness. She’s a storyteller, observer, essayist, potty mouth and film lover who’s traveled the world. You can connect with her on Twitter, Tumblr, and her Author Site. Look for her on the Gravity Imprint of Booktrope Publishing.