The Long Road Home

It’s been awhile
since I’ve walked
this dusty road, but
I remember it well.
That spot there,
where the sun
never quite reaches,
is where I found myself
on my knees
praying
to a god
I didn’t believe in.
Bodies upon bottles
upon razor blades
gleaming with self-harm
and a cocaine glow
fill the ditches beside me,
and the trenches
of my memories.
In this place
the hills are alive
with the sound
of sudden drops
and last gasps,
and the air is thick
with the stench of shame.
This is a long road,
and east is west
and north is every failure
I have ever eaten.
South lies,
between humility
and every lie
I have ever sworn
in blood.

© Nicole Lyons 2017