The Hard Part of the Night

You left me to hold the hard parts
of our life and the night, and I still
try to mute the sound of my own heart
breaking, but it breaks again and again,
over and over until the shards of it
climb from my chest and pull my lungs
from my throat, my lungs that have been
blackened with the thickest part
of the night and I am left choking.
I cough and I spit blood, and I hide
my words inside the grooves
of pointy molars before they crumble
and end up beneath my tongue.
I remember when my mouth was full
of gleaming promises before
I pushed my own fingers down my throat
and treated the burn of it all
with whiskey neat and love gone bad.
I remember what it felt like to smile
before my smile met your fist
and I grew ignorant when I spat
my wisdom and your name
into our kitchen sink.
And now moving on has become
the thing that looks sweeter
this year, but my lost socks,
and your sweet lies leave
a film on every tack in the wall
that once held our memories
and the to-do lists we never got around to.
But they still look pretty
on a cork board that hints
you once loved me, and maybe
I loved you, but I still slur
my words and hide your lies
underneath my lost truth.

– Nicole Lyons 2018