By my own admission…dick pics are not welcome here.
Gentlemen…oh wait…I’m not talking to you. Let me start over…GUYS…much better! This is for the typical guy…you know the one. He’s the one commonly referred to as “douche”.
How have we arrived at place in this world where sending a “dick pic” has become more common than opening a fucking door? And for that matter…more acceptable?
It may be presumptuous of me to say this but I believe I speak for the majority in this instance. What ever happened to common decency and a conversation. You will never win me over with a “dick pic”…I need to know that you are ruled by something more than your second brain. For instance…show me there is something that rattles around in your skull besides thoughts of your own penis…show me substance.
Just for your information…the penis is not pretty. I’m more interested in your smile. Can you carry on a conversation? Do you have beautiful, rugged hands? Are you nice to kids, waiters, and dogs (this is important!)? Send me a pic of you laughing so I can see the way your eyes light up when you’re happy. If you want to entice me then please…for the sake of being different…show me your soul.
The bottom line is this…if you feel so inclined and enamored by your least attractive appendage that you feel an overwhelming urge to send a picture of it…consider yourself blocked. For the record…If I choose…I will see it up close and personal…but I…and I alone…get to make that decision…it will always be my choice…so keep your uninvited dick pics to yourself.
Rant over…
© S.L. Heaton 2016
Shawna Heaton, aka Priss, is just a girl with some words. Words that spent entirely too long locked up inside. She’s a mom…grandma…aspiring writer…gym junkie…and all around smart ass. She’s on a journey…she doesn’t know where to but she intends to enjoy the ride.
Follow her extraordinary journey at S.L. Heaton
Nicole Lyons 
I love this so hard Shawna, harder than the dicks you get sent in the pics.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😂 I love you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love you too, Ha!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great rant, Shawna. I wonder whether those guys actually think dick pics work as a courtship message, or they are trying to be offensive. Its probably some of each.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Great point, Bob.
LikeLiked by 1 person
And then, I thought that maybe some of them aren’t even their own, but lifted from some secret trove of supposedly irresistible “equipment” somewhere on the Dark Web. How disappointing that would be for any woman foolish enough to fall for the pitch. Would she have grounds to sue for false advertising?
LikeLiked by 2 people
Reblogged this on cabbagesandkings524 and commented:
Shawna rants on a subject too often in need a a good rant.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Wow, I know there are really guys like that out there, but there are also a few genuine guys also. Ain’t never thought about asking a lady if she wanted a dick pic or have I ever known one that insisted on one. Guessing, there are a few of out there that aren’t total nut cases or to in love with their own dick!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on slheaton.
LikeLike