I have fallen

I have fallen hard,
swirled to the bottom
of a bottle of Jack, stuck
to the blade after
the perfect line was cut.
I have had life breathed
back into me, great
thrusts upon my heart
cracking ribs, as if pain
could will me to stay.
I walked the halls
of the damned, kissed
death herself and told her,
‘not quite yet.’ I have
swallowed poison
to placate others,
and switch myself off.
I have died
one hundred deaths
to appease doctors,
and family, and friends,
and I did it all
in the name of sanity.
I found myself one
thousand miles from home
in the arms of strangers,
The Enlightened;
and because of them,
their nourishment, I have
accepted my torment. I have
breathed in my darkness
and welcomed it home,
surrendered to the beauty
that was my undoing,
and in acceptance I found
the exquisite jewel that I am.

©Nicole Lyons 2016