Closed Doors & Open Hearts – Jason King

Jason's Truth2

 

People come into and out of our lives at exactly the right moment…..

 

This saying used to make my skin crawl and want to chew steel….no they don’t….I would howl….it’s all about choice I would say….now….I’m not sure I believe that….don’t get me wrong I think effort is of the upmost importance….as well as choosing your person everyday….but sometimes you can choose them….but they aren’t meant to keep you nor you them….so you staying is only going to upset the balance of your world.

 

People come into and out of our lives at exactly the right moment.

 

I often give my advice on things when asked….sometimes when not….it can be really great advice too….other times I question if I’m the best choice to do this….I am a stubborn man sometimes and won’t heed the same advice I give….recently I took many people on my journey into a new relationship….

 

I am going to share my truth of it from my perspective….we started out as friends….became very good friends….we run in the same circle so we knew many of the same people….they knew us….somewhere along the way we thought oh okay….you know this could be a thing….I mean we enjoy each other’s company….back to not taking my own advice….

 

It wasn’t lightning….it was a wonderful little fire….and it was comfortable….so we ran with it….why not….I’m one of the most logically impulsive people you’ll ever meet….we got to do the things we’d been denied in the past….share with the world!….talk about it….come one come all to the show!…it was fun….it also became this wild horse that took off with us on top because we didn’t really know how to ride and basically just had to hang on….it wasn’t ever going to be though….her heart was with someone else….mine was still waiting for the one to cradle it gently and fuck it stupid….

 

We liked the idea….again….not taking my own advice….not listening to our gut….we tried because it seemed like it should work….that doesn’t mean it will….or should….I will forever be grateful she had the courage to say hey….this just isn’t it….for all my bravado and courage I think it would’ve taken me longer….and I’m stubborn….she expected a backlash that never really came….neither of us were hurt really….just disappointed….however so many revaluations came from it….

 

We started listening to our gut….our intuition….we learned more about ourselves….and what it is we truly want….it’s not to share with the world….it’s not for the status updates or pictures together on social media….all those things could fall away….then what do you have….burn it all to the fucking ground….it’s not real….it showed me more about who I am and the things I desire in a relationship….and they involve me and one person holding each other at night….I even wrote about it….

 

My heart isn’t nearly as reckless as it seems….I’m not going from one thing to the next or constantly searching….I’m not….my eyes are always open….they just aren’t always looking in the right place….I am just willing to jump off a cliff to see what it feels like….but my gut always knows….this isn’t the time you fly either….but I must try….I hate what ifs.

 

People come into and out of our lives at exactly the right moment.

 

So tonight we are saying goodbye to each other….I know many won’t get this….but it’s part of our language and makes sense to us….she is in love with someone else….and I won’t ever do anything to threaten that….we are always two friends that should’ve stayed that way….but at least no what ifs….so we will say goodbye and part ways as friends….because she wants me to be clean too….because I like someone….she would never threaten that….our guts tell us it’s the right thing….

 

I don’t fall in like easy….despite how it looks….I’m an openly guarded book….but I do like someone….I owe it to myself to see what’s there….my eyes were open….I saw them….I just wasn’t looking hard enough….I’m a stubborn man sometimes….

 

I saw her riding the bumper cars….I just moved a little slow getting to the ferris wheel….now I’m listening to my gut….my intuition knows….follow your path….see where it’s taking you….so tonight I’ll tell my friend goodbye….she has to go see about a boy….and I have a ferris wheel to go climb.

 

People come into and out of our lives at exactly the right moment.

© Jason King 2016

 

Jason King

 

Jason King is a storyteller, seeker of passion, hopeless romantic, cynic, and possibly completely mad. You can find more of his exquisite writing at Jason King.

Follow Jason’s journey here on The Lithium Chronicles at The Poets