Make It Count – Jason King

 

Jason's Truth2

 

I told my girlfriend today that I loved her….and she didn’t say it back….( I think I heard a gasp from the audience)….so why am I not freaking out….or losing my shit….or curled up in the fetal position crying about it….well for one my ego isn’t that fragile….two….I know she’s falling in love with me….we’ve danced around it for a bit now….as she said….padded it….the joys of writers dating….and three….because I know she’s scared.

 

So the first one….my ego….yes of course I have one….we all do on some level….I’m quietly confident….because I know what I bring….and that I’m good….it’s honestly not much more complicated than that….

 

Now I’m going to jump to three….she’s scared….and that I fully understand….when I was with my ex I had a conversation one night in her apartment….well into our relationship….she was upset by life and wrapped in a blanket and crying….she told me I’m scared….love is scary….I told her love wasn’t scary….people in the past that didn’t deserve you or had their own things to deal and put you in the crosshairs made you think that….this must be what love is like….and it’s really hard and scary….loving is easy….life is what can get tough….there’s a difference….and we all have a tendency to bring our old fears and hurts with us to the next adventure….unless we recognize it and work on it….

 

So when Sarah told me she was scared….I understood it….she has reasons to be….reasons that have nothing to do with me….things that are hers to work out….while I walk beside her and hold her hand through life’s airport….that’s my place….beside her….patiently strolling….while she looks through her old folders….finds out what she needs and doesn’t….and I’ll do that and more because she’s worth it….she is magic in beautiful tattooed wrapping with eyes that make me forget words when I look in them….and a smile that is both warm and mischievous….inviting and at the same time hinting at something dangerous….lips that I want to kiss even when she’s talking….and I could and have listened to her talk for hours….her mind is wickedly sharp and quick….she can fire off things very quickly and you had better keep up because she just had a squirrel run through her mind so now we are going in that direction with something…..and her body….I struggle to understand how sexy she is….the way she moves….the things it does to me….the places it takes my mind….more on that another time….so yes….for these and countless other reasons I count myself the luckiest man I know….why on earth would I not be patient while she catches her footing….she is worth it….my god is she worth it….

 

So back to two….that we’ve danced around it….I know she’s falling in love with me….she’s said as much….so why didn’t I wait….why didn’t I let her say it first….I have always lived by one rather simple philosophy….make it count….

 

Over the years when asked my advice on something by different people….on what they should do about whatever the situation was….it always boiled down to that….make it count…..it’s how I live my life….it’s why I started writing….my friend Rachy said I should go for it….so I thought okay let’s do it and see what happens….

 

So here we are….the sunrise this morning may have been the last one I get….tonight may be the last time I get to dance under Luna….you never know….it’s all fragile and finite….who you are in this life….we have no excuse not to make it count….to just run with it and see where it takes us….those damn adventures….and sometimes the best adventures involve being curled up on a couch with someone…..

 

So did it bother me earlier….not at all….it helped remind me even more of what’s important….yes she’s scared….that has nothing to do with me really….but she’s still here….she’s making it count….I told her I’ll not be scared for both of us….until you’re not scared too….because I love all of her….even the parts she isn’t sure about in herself yet….and she makes me happy….every day….and I plan on making every second count because she’s worth it….

 

So remember if you wake up tomorrow….you run with it….with whatever life gives you….be it a person or your art….curling up with someone for a quiet night….it may not always be the adventure you want….but the one you need….so….make….it….count.

© Jason King 2016

Jason King

Jason King is a storyteller, seeker of passion, hopeless romantic, cynic, and possibly completely mad. You can find more of his exquisite writing at Jason King.

9 comments

  1. I love LOVE! ❤

    Jason, I wish you both so much love.

    Thank you for the wonderful words of wisdom. I'm going to spend each day making it count.

    Always an honour to have you on TLC.

    XOXOX

    Love to you, Brother.

    Nicole

    Like

I'd love to hear from you.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s