Dear Ignorant People on World Bipolar Day

Rise

Let’s chat, shall we? I hear you’re oh so tired of “this whole mental illness thing” so let me be quick, just clear up a few things for you, and then you can be on your way.

My illness is as real, and as painful, as the physical illness that your beautiful child was born with. Just like she had no control over her genetics, neither did I. And just like your daughter has had to swallow medications and be put through excruciating testing, so have I. The thing about your daughter that differs from me is that she’s made a full recovery, thank the Universe, but I have yet to see that. In fact, if you want to go by statistics, there’s a one in four chance that this illness, the one you’re so tired of hearing about, will end my life.

Here’s another funny thing:

Sometimes people go for YEARS without a diagnosis, and even then, they still don’t tell people about it because people like you are assholes. Do you know what I’ve actually heard, from people super close to me? “Well so and so’s brother’s friend’s boss is ACTUALLY bipolar and he…” Really? No, that’s a true story. As if my symptoms aren’t bipolary enough for you. OR, if they are, as if my poor choices and bad behaviour were some sort of excuse…one that I would never blame on my illness, yet you seem to want me to…when it suits you.

Or, “well which side of the family do you think you got it from?” Um, well, really? What the fuck? I love most of my family, but we’re all nucking futs, the whole damn works, and again, really?

Does it matter where I “got it from”? As if a hateful uncle passed it down on purpose, as if we could weed out the bad ones to preserve the family line. As if one in five people in this world aren’t already diagnosed with a mental illness.

Just stop and try to absorb this:

I don’t give a fuck if you’re tired about hearing about mental illness, and mine in particular, because it’s not going away, and neither am I. If you had to endure half of the things that my mind puts me through, it would bring you to your goddamn knees. Step out of your judgmental bubble, take a look around, and stop being so ignorant.

If my illness offends you, cover your ears, because my warrior’s song is going to drive you crazier than I am.

Warmest regards,

Nicole

17 comments

  1. My mouth is hanging open!!! I’d put all capital letters but that’s shouting and lots of exclamations but that’s…wrong some kind of way. I have no idea what you go through but I know you’ve affected me profoundly!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes! I want to scream this to my dad, hes not hateful he just saw the worst of me through it all. ‘Did you take your meds?’ Lol.

    What can I do? Lol. Yessss, i took the fucking meds! I love my dad though. Thats why he still has a head. Let anyone disrespect me.

    I could like this 100 times! Bravo!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Gheesh If I go there, well I don’t dare let anybody take me there ! They are not worth having a mood swing ? Yes Not you Me Let’s be straight up ! Not anyone no matter how nasty mean and hardcore, I am not going to use my faults to correct Someone who I cannot be involved with, they like bad medicine can kill my happy heart don’t need it, children listen up people give people moodswings it’s called the opposite end of the pole, you’re happy on thesunny side of the street, someone pops up on the opposite dark side of the street, I have to say mostly the people who push those buttons get my quick rehearsed response, rolls right off my tongue, Oh ! I am so sorry you feel that way, and another, Oh ! you should really talk to a doctor about your problem I wish I could help one thing I can do is get you some numbers for a really good one, or Oh ! yes you should talk to a psychiatrist yourself sorry I don’t do group therapy, And my favorite, PLEASE let me know if I owe you something, please send me the bill put it in writing, what ever it is you feel that I owe you , put it in writing, otherwise please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you , with your problems anything I can do please let me know I am always willing to do what I can and fortunately I am a person too just like you not a label, I am not all about having a moodswing I Am not here to teach I am here to learn, maybe you need a spiritual advisor sounds like a personal problem all this is rehearsed I stick to my script I am proudest of myself when I move on quickly no attachment to hate or scorn or others who just like to cause moodswings I refuse to have a fit for anyone ! the only fit I want anymore in my life is a fit of joy Nicole when I read your poetry, Thanx I will keep rehearsing hope you like some of my lines

    Like

  4. You’ve made me cry dear, my sister, suffered and during a holiday found herself without prescribed medication, couldn’t get a provider to write for her, she took her own life and was found by my precious niece, I still haven’t let myself go there, by taking your hand in your words, I’m here now and must thank you deeply ❤ Jeff

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh Jeff, I am so very sorry, my heart breaks for you and your niece, and especially for your sister. It’s unbelievable to me that this still happens, and is getting worse, the way doctors can just drop the ball and leave people so vulnerable. There should be services strictly for these kind of situations. I had a psych drop me, had become offended at something I wrote on here, and left me without any meds as well. I was lucky enough to have my GP cover me and make sure that I was okay with meds, I wish the same could have been for your dear sister.

      So much love to you. I am truly sorry 🖤Nicole

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you 😊 this was 05 and GPs wouldn’t intervene. The fact being it’s time for me to address this. I will compose something fitting. I have been curious about my deep affinity for your work and the answer has been revealed 💐

        Liked by 1 person

  5. No one has the right to judge. How many times with chronic PTSD have I been told I should ‘just get over it’ as if the trauma in both of my nervous systems suffered from two near death crashes were just something I could shut the door on. I have bi polar siblings and its very tough. People need to be told. Well done for telling it as it is.

    Like

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