You’ll have to excuse me for joining the party late, all of the big words and testosterone coming down that Internet thingy had me a little bit confused and frightened. I felt anxious and overly emotional, almost the exact same way I feel right before I’m about to start my period. So I took a few days to cry, eat a few gallons of ice cream, embrace my inner beauty, and make ridiculous demands on the men in my life, because let’s get real here, a distraught woman simply can not function unless a man takes over.
Roosh V. Where do I even start?
Obviously it goes without saying (still going to say it) that this puppy is twisted but could he be a bit of a sociopathic genius as well? Hold on now, I’ll get to the could be part soon, and it has nothing to do with his despicable pro-rape, homophobic, misogynistic beliefs that he spews. I hold no illusions that the man isn’t the vilest form of sleaze to exhale, like ever.
A little backstory, just incase your brain boxes are running on the what in the actual fuck kind of deranged person would nominate Trump for a Nobel Peace Prize loop:
So Roofie Rooshy had planned to hold a bunch of international meet ups for his Internet sensation boyband, ‘The Rapey Gang Bangers’, (I jest, they named themselves Return of Kings, because what else would possible closeted homosexual misogynists name themselves? Queens?) and the world went wild. Not unlike every other time The Sultan of Slime has tried to go somewhere and speak for money to groups of sad little men. Rooshypoops wants to hold these “tribal meetings” for his Kings to, “allow masculine men to regularly bond and converse with each other.” I wonder if Albert Fish could have made as much money as this lackluster Lothario pulls in if he had access to a WordPress account in the 1890s. IRS, are you on this case? Anywho, we all agree that the dude is ew, but come on now, he’s laughing all the way to the fucking bank while his followers are buying a ride on the tail of the next Hale-Bopp.
I know you think you hate women and you wouldn’t take my advice, so I asked my husband to talk to you. I’m typing this though because he’s one of those strong trade men that you so admire (also a pilot and a biker) and doesn’t type well, in other words we’ll be here all fucking day before I can even submit to publish. Meet…
Just kidding, like I’d let my husband speak, what kind of a woman do you think I am?
But seriously now, are you actually paying money to get advice on women from a guy who has written and published this in his book Bang Iceland:
“While walking to my place, I realized how drunk she was. In America, having sex with her would have been rape, since she couldn’t legally give her consent. It didn’t help matters that I was relatively sober, but I can’t say I cared or even hesitated.
I won’t rationalize my actions, but having sex is what I do. If a girl is willing to walk home with me, she’s going to get the dick no matter how much she has drunk. I’ll protect myself by using a condom (most of the time), but I know that when it comes to sex, one ounce of hesitation or a feeling of morality will get me nothing.”
And then trying to tell the world that you’re all not pro-rape? Can you see how we’re all confused and even justified in our disgust? But again, you’re PAYING your hard earned money to this what..expert? For what.. relationship advice? Because if you need this freak’s help to get laid, you have more problems than just hand over fisting your money, Buddy. You would do well to invest that money in some psychological help – find out what it is in you that makes you think it’s okay to treat women this way. Maybe your Mom didn’t hold you enough, maybe your Dad called you a Pussy, maybe you’re really gay and can’t accept that? You should already know this but, it’s totally okay if you’re gay, learn to love your whole self. I don’t know what your inner turmoil is, I’m not a fucking doctor, but I do know that if this Roosh guy is your brah, you’ve got some serious issues.
Don’t give me that bullshit about brotherhood either, my family comes from a very long line of bikers and those men are the epitome of brotherhood. They wouldn’t dream of treating women the way you do, and I’m pretty sure they do alright.
Now if you’re going to hit me with the free speech I can get behind that. Free speech gives me the ability to say that I think most Republican Evangelicals are racist homophobes and would run America into the ground, but that still doesn’t make being rapey okay. Free speech and freedom of press has allowed Mein Kampf and Bang Iceland to be published, doesn’t make them any good. Free speech also allows every single one of The Great White North’s fine mayors to tell The Chlamydia Cult you’re not fucking welcome here. They’re actually doing you a service though, I hear Kayla Bourque has applied to have her curfew lifted.
The Kayla Bourques of this world are the least of your concerns, boys. We’ve got humanity and simple fucking decency on our side, but even when the underbelly of society slithers it’s disgusting sexual frustrations up out into the open, like you have done, strong women and men kick it back down. We are raising a bright and powerful generation of young women and men that will not feel the need to blog this shit out like I do, you’re going to become irrelevant just like you were in high school when you first couldn’t get laid. There is hope for you yet, there is always hope.
As a Canadian I have no qualms about writing a very strongly worded letter to my Member of Parliament to implement further action to cease all Return of Kings meet ups in our fine country.
Totally kidding again, we’ll meet you at the party and I’ll be sure to invite all of my biker friends to come too, we offer advice free of charge.
In a Daily Mail Exclusive that had basement goblins across the globe taking to social media to vehemently oppose being categorized with Roosh The Douche we got to see what a self-procalaimed “King of Masculinity” looks like:
After Roosh V called 911 yesterday to report death threats he’s received, Maryland police responded to his home, or rather his Mother’s home, where Roosh V the 36 year old grown ass and self proclaimed “masculine man” lives…in her basement. Oh sweet friends, The Universe really does have a wicked sense of fucking humor.