You Can’t Save People, You Can Only Love Them. RIP Kevin


At the end of June I decided to unpublish The Lithium Chronicles on Facebook until the fall because I was spreading myself a little bit too thin and it seemed like a good idea at the time. Last week I published again because for the past 2 1/2 years that page has been not only a big part of my support system, but a lot of other people’s as well.

I started that page on Valentines Day, 2013, with the gentle nudging (consistent nagging) of the amazing Dori Owen. When I first started it I had the disillusioned idea that I was going to save the world. I know. I quickly figured out that this was one of the most ridiculous ideas I had ever acted on, and there have been many. My heart was in the right place.

I have never once regretted hitting that publish button, but I have been spun a few times. It’s really hard not to get emotionally invested with people when they tell you their deepest feelings, and I have. I have my regulars, my constants, and they have helped me more than I could possibly express, and I have helped them. I have leaned on Dori and Christina, Allie and Sarah when I have become triggered, and they have helped to pull me through. Sometimes I worry that I trigger them, but they let me know, and I am there for them as well.

My page is amazing, but it’s not me who has made it so, it’s the people who follow the page that have created it. We are a community, one that holds each other up and lets each other know that we are not alone. That page has saved lives; I’ve seen it happen. I stress to everyone that we are not doctors nor are we trained mental health counselors; we are simply people who get it. We either live with mental illness or love someone who does.

Today I received a comment on one of my Psych Central Blogs that challenged my statement, “You are never alone” and it made me sad. I stand behind that statement. YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. Even when it feels like you are, you are never alone. I promise you that there is always someone out there who is willing to listen and offer a shoulder or a helping hand. We may not be able to solve your problems, but we may be able to ease your mind a bit, because we do understand some of what you’re going through.

I just found out that one of my followers lost their battle. I have never met this man, but I feel this loss. My heart aches for his family and his friends, and the questions come up, was there something we could have done? I know there wasn’t, I know this, but they are still there.

His name was Kevin and he was 26 years old. He was a student and an artist and he was allergic to bees. Kevin lived with PTSD, he wanted to work with children, he had none of his own, but he had a dog. Her name was Lady.

Rest in Paradise, Kevin. You will never be forgotten.

You are never alone, not ever. Never be afraid to ask for help, it’s one of the bravest and strongest things you can do.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

11 thoughts on “You Can’t Save People, You Can Only Love Them. RIP Kevin

  1. I’m so sorry for your & his family (& our community as well) i’m saddened, but I’m hopeful as well. Because you & a small group of ‘like’ people dealing with chronic, life altering, extremely difficult diseases, I, you & many people are NOT alone, lives ARE saved. We are unified in our illnesses by each other in this often seemingly impossible existence when we do believe we’re alone & no one cares. In all our despair, in our darkest hours ~ YOU, ME, WE ARE TRULY NEVER ALONE. THANK YOU FOR THAT.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am so sorry about Kevin, Nicole. I know what a big heart you have and it must be aching right now. Knowing that you can’t save everybody and feeling it in your heart are two very different things. Love you hon, You take care of You ok?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. That is so sad. I am thankful my daughter survived her attempt and is still here with us. Keep up your good work. It does make a difference. The loss is real to all of us of who walked so close to the line. Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. To steal someone else’s words…..we need to talk about Kevin. And Joshua. And Robin. And everyone else who lost their battle. We cannot hide these harsh realities and think we are helping others. You are NEVER alone. Reach out. Speak up. Even if it’s to someone at the other end of the line at 1 (800) 273-8255. And at the same time, we must love, support, and never forget the people left behind. Nicole, you are known as the “first person to call for help” when those of us come into contact with suicidal friends. Your reputation for counseling and, let’s just say it out loud–saving people’s lives, is legendary among the mental health pages on Facebook. RIP Kevin, Nicole’s love follows you on your next journey.

    Liked by 2 people

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