It’s been one of those days, and it’s not quite 10:00am. The morning started out great, everything went smoothly. Somewhere between my second cup of coffee and dropping the kids off to school, things shifted. I let a few outside triggers get the better of me–AGAIN. I know better. I swear I’m my own worst enemy. Time to catastrophize everything, because I do it so well. I let a little thing turn into a huge thing, and then made it all about me. Which then leads me to thinking, “I need to make an appointment with my shrink because obviously I have undiagnosed Rejection Sensitivity Disorder.” Statistically speaking it is quite prevalent in people with Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, and a bunch of other mental illnesses.
OK NICOLE, JUST STOP!
How about instead of continuing along the same path that has proven time and time again to up anxiety, find excuses, and feel sorry for myself, I just find a healthier way of dealing with my stressors? Now that sounds like something I can get on board with, but it is easier said than done. I can give the best advice and guidance to 26,000+ people on The Lithium Chronicles Facebook page, but I am guilty of being unable to apply said advice to my own life.
This is where I am so thankful for my support systems. they keep me on track. But, I really need to find some healthier coping mechanisms. I hate the feeling of being personally attacked (when I’m not) I do this to myself. Do you do this as well? How do change this? I have done so much CBT, I continue mindfulness, and I try my best to not wallow. It’s ok to have a bad day but it’s not ok for me personally to do the whole catastrophisizing stuff. Any suggestions on how you all get through it?
Sometimes I’m great and nothing phases me. Other times, a look is all it takes to send me into a spiral of self loathing, doubt and isolation. I don’t like this side of me. I know it’s my illness, but I don’t want to give in to it. I see people who don’t do this, and I admire them, A bad day is ok. Continuing the cycle of creating your own bad days is not ok. Suggestions welcome and appreciated.